Wow..

Ok, let’s not get excited here.. yes, I’m still alive and this is the first proper post since for-never.. so anyway.

It’s been a long-short 3-month plus since course started and in a couple of weeks it’ll be the mid way point. Fast, definitely.. one way of seeing it is that somehow.. I’ve made it thru toward the halfway mark already. Slow, surely.. cos there were moments that lasted forever and seconds that seem to burn away in slow-mo as you wait there in anticipation/fear/anxiety/pain.

A few things hit me in the shower earlier (no, not the shampoo bottle) and that’s perhaps the inspiration and motivation to getting this post down. For a start, I think I’m getting Fitter, Smarter and will Die earlier now that I’ve experienced this half of the course.

Fitter.
Definitely.. needless to say, when you start working out 3-4 times a week, something’s gotta change. I’m just thankful I have really injured myself big time although I’ve come awfully close on some encounters. I’m clocking my fastest time for the tests that I’ve ever clocked in my entire life.. even beating my supposed ‘fittest time of my life’ while I was serving ns last time.

Smarter.
I’m now dealing with a whole load of different situations that I’ve never had to encounter with previously. Perhaps it’s because previously, no matter what I did, there was someone above to report the issue to. So when servicemen A tells me he has some issues, and I find it too big, I naturally refer it to boss B, who will take over from there. Job done, I’m happy.. or at least I think it’s done and I feel less involved.

But now it’s taken on a whole new approach.. I’m dealing with anal issues both on and off the job-scope and there’s no one higher I can/should/want to report to due to the nature of the course.. which leads me to my last point of enlightenment..

Dying Earlier.
Morbid I know.. but hey.. when u start having an enormously huge sleep debt to pay back.. it comes almost close to impossible to do it. There comes a time when the weekends are simple not enough to catch back on the rest and recharge. Couple that with the stress that comes from both on top and sideways, and the pressure to keep myself up to speed in the course and the unspoken responsibility to lead the class, dying earlier suddenly seems like a good way out after all. Hah. So inevitably, ur lifespan gets shorten with all these.

Ok, so much for trying to keep the post up to date with what’s going on with me.. I also recently (well, not THAT recent anymore) got a new phone.. =) HTC Snap, and it even comes with a free hard-cover case..

A brilliant little device that has a tonne of functions which I’ve yet to explore all.. except that it works on a window platform and apparently no one has done a mod for the android to reside in it (yes, I have something against windows). If there are any lovely programmers who are willing to give it a shot, I’ll be willing to test out ur betas. Hahaha.. oh and did I also mention that it’s NOT a camera phone? So it means I can happily bring it to work.. brilliant. =)

Ok, the sleep debt’s getting back to me and I’m starting to find it difficult to find the cursor on my monitor. Haha.. time to go.

It's been a while since i posted anything here.. i know.. the past 2 and a half months have been both trying and fufilling at the same time..

in a way, i'm thankful that i'm able to experience certain things for i'm learnt so much both abt how to deal with other ppl as well as dealing with my own self.. i've also seen ppl from all walks of life and those who are here for completely different reasons.. at the same time i've seen how the human-nature can be downright selfish and self-seeking..

so ok.. this is not meant to ramble or complain or whine as much as i'd like to..just saying that i'm still alive and that this blog isn't haunted.

So It Begins..

It's the start of a new chapter.. One that i'm still struggling to figure what's what.. It'll be a grueling 8 months but i'm choosing to believe that some how in the midst of it all, i'll see how i fit into the bigger picture..

I'll see how what i'm gonna go thru will fit into the bigger picture.. I understand that what's best for me, and what's planned for me isn't always gonna be what i want.. But i have to somehow learn to trust.. He is in control after all..

Dear LORD, as i embark on this journey, i commit whole course into Your hands.. I choose to leave everything, both great and small, into Your hands, for you will take care of everything better than i ever could.. Let me realise my full potential that is Your will and let me never let You down.. Constantly remind me of why i'm doing it, that i may never sway when the going gets tough and that i may never forget you when things go well..

Eye Candy

Thanks to the advancement in technology.. the previous few entries I’ve made since late feb till now were all from my humble phone. Which prob explains why there weren’t many pictures accompanying them.. Yes, I CAN upload pictures too, but it’s a tad bit of a hassle, also considering that I don’t have a camera on my phone, making it slightly more troublesome to include a picture with the posts..

So now that I’m back, I think that it’s perhaps time to put up some eye candy again for my otherwise getting-oh-so-boring blog..

ok, I’m inclined to add this in cos I haven’t posted a picture of dar in a loong while.. really long.. lovely.. =)

bridge @ changi point

sunset @ changi point

attempted to capture the full glory of the scene by stitching the shots together.. didn’t really turn out too well.. can still see the seams..

and my fav picture of the lot.. it’s been my wallpaper since dec. happy cos I managed to get such a shot, and from my humble canon a520. sad cos I only got this shot after countless countless countless other lousy shots. One-in-a-million as they’d put it.

What if..

..you were making me all that I was meant to be..

What if I just let go and trust myself to your plans..

Teach me not to doubt in what I can do.. For I'm doing it not by my might, but by yours.

Hooah..

Heaven Now.. Gosh.. Finally! Now just gotta wait to go home.. Woots!

Greatness in Him

How does one prepare himself for such a daunting task as this.. How did the great men whom history books have been built upon do it? Were they any different from me? Were they also not mere humans too?

As the start approaches, i can't help but begin to doubt in my own abilities and give in to all the what-if scenarios that are playing in my mind.. It's a battle i'm fighting, cos i know and recognise that i'm answering to a greater calling by being here.. But yet, a portion of me still relies on my own strength to accomplish my given tasks.. A portion of me tries to achieve the goals on my own accord, thinking that i am THAT good..

Dear LORD, as i embark on yet another tour of duty such as this, i pray you guide me in your wisdom.. It truly is a second chance at it all over again, and i thank you for it.. May i never rely on my own earthly abilities, but instead lean on and put my trust in your promises.. May everything i do not fall short of the completeness and wholeness that u have intended it to be, and may i continue to be a light that will shine for you. Help me touch the lives of these 82 here with me.. May i be an inspiration to follow, a light to direct and mentor to guide..

Help me be all that u have intended for me to be.. Not for mine, but for Your honour and glory. Amen.