Sunday, January 31, 2010


The room suddenly feels quieter now.. without that incessant ‘nick nick nick..’ as you chew away on ur house.. neither do I hear the wheel turning round and round at hyper speeds while you try to outdo your best timing on the wheel..

Looking over my shoulder at the tank.. it now feels that tad bit emptier.. somehow it just feels different now.

You were the crazier one of the 2. Sure.. you gave me a fair share of headaches and sleepless nights and mornings.. times when you chose to be chewing away at the cage/plastic house/wheel either at 3 in the morning or when I’m trying to nap in the afternoon.. or that time when you chose to do a ninja and climb over the divider and into omelette’s side and pick a fight with her at 5 in the morning..

You were the trouble maker.. but yet.. you brought endless joy to me. You made coming home something to look forward to more. Of the 2, you allowed me to pick u up occasionally, and you would lie at ur happy spot and drift off to lala-land as you allowed me to reach in and stroke ur forehead..

Every time I step thru my door, irregardless if it’s after a long hard week of training or after a crazy week at school, you would pop your little head up and scratch away at the glass.. welcoming me back. Immediately making me smile..

Every time I see you in your sleep, I always wished I could hold you and cuddle u in my palm without you fidgeting.. to just hold you and stroke ur fur as you lay calmly in my palm..

Yet, now as I’m able to do all that.. I wish I didn’t have to.. I wish I couldn’t. I wish you’d fidget away and try to leap off my palm. I wish you’d scratch away at my palm and try to bite my thumb.. I wish you would just move and wake from this deep sleep.

I miss you hamlette.. you have brought much more joy to me than you can ever imagine.. you’ve taught me so many lessons, more than you’ll ever realize.. and you thot me to give.. much more than you ever received..

You will always be remembered..

21 Oct 2008 – 31 Jan 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Promise

The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace..

With those words somehow ringing in my head, I sat in the cab as it turned onto the highway. The brilliance of the rising sun piercing right through the windscreen and onto my face.. I squinted.


For the 2nd time..

The same corridor.. that same wall.. the same bunk and the same bed.. the same views out of the same window and the same helplessness that seeps into you. It’s all coming back..

But no, somehow, this time, it would be different.. somehow this time I know it within myself that things are gonna be different. Not for me to boast, nor for me to impress, but for me to claim. For me to claim His promises over my life.. That’s how it all started. Right there in the cab..

The following 2 weeks were succeeded by the usual that I’ve come to expect.. the daily ‘routines’ and the never-ending anxiety.. the sleepless nights as we all tossed, not knowing how long more before it’d be time to wake..

But through it all, I am constantly reminded of The Promise. I am reminded of what I’ve done for Him previously.. how He has not forgotten.. and the sheer overwhelming joy, knowing that I have pleased Him and made Him proud.. I am reminded that I did not have to worry.. that’s all I needed to keep me going.

Dare I say that if there’s one place that I get visions and words dropped into my heart.. it’d be there. Of all places, in the deepest darkest moments that a person has to go through.. that’s where he seeks the light and finds it. That’s where the glory goes to Him alone, that’s where you recognize that it’s no longer your strength that u’re running on, and that’s where the story unfolds.

For 2 weeks, I get to experience first-hand, seeing how His plans will unfold when it is in His will.. I see for myself the impossible that can happen, the uncanny ‘coincidences’ that somehow take place and favour as He extends His protection over me.. And now, looking back, all I can say is that it’s all for Him and Him alone..

Not for mine, but for Your Honour and Glory.. I thank You for giving me the chance to serve You in the most dire of circumstances.. to be a light to shine for the others to see.. to direct them to you and plant that seed.. I pray I made You proud. None of these goes to me, for I know that without You I wouldn’t have lasted a day.. I thank You for opening yet another door in my life.. I pray You give me the strength and guidance as I traverse down this path you have willed..

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV