Friday, October 30, 2009

Penguin Update

It’s finally here! The one that I can honestly say I’ve been waiting for.. a quick update on the penguin partition on my computer as of now will show that I’m happy with the fancy layout and eye-candy that kubuntu 9.04 comes with.. but somehow, at the expense of everything else, it just looks good.

Everything was broken, from the wifi connector to the desktop widgets and even the file manager/explorer was nonsense.. a poor excuse for an OS. So I was honestly waiting for 9.10 where hopefully things will get better.

And in the midst of the whole brouhaha nonsense of this past (worst) week (of my life), I suddenly realize tonight that 9.10 is out..! So as I type, 9.10 is slowly being downloaded and conceived in my harddisk.. shall update soon abt it.

Yes, the tech geek (omg!) in me is all excited. Hah.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Obedience School

It’s a long story that I’ve played and re-played over and over in my head many times.. till the point that I’m actually tired of talking abt it. The final lesson on obedience and submission was the hardest to learn.

I dropped out from selections with just 2 days to the end. It’s so close I can almost feel it.. but yet, since the start of the week, I had an inclination that things will end early. I just never expected it to end this way.

Doctor says it might be a partial ligament tear, but he can’t confirm it. So I’m praying against it now.. it’s been one heck of a ride and yes, I’ll still give You the glory and I still choose to praise You no matter how difficult this is for me. I trust that You have a greater plan for me, one that I can never fathom, and that You’ll see it to pass.

Thank You for sending me to obedience school.. I pray I made You proud.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Natural Selection

Biologists or rather environmentalist and ecologists will tell you that the process of Natural Selection is crucial for the balance in life on this planet. Natural Selection speaks of how certain species will eventually triumph over other weaker species, thereby ensuring that only the best genes are maintained and selected for future generations to be spawned. And then the cycle continues, so it behaves like a never-ending fine-tuning process, meant to sift out the weak and allow nothing but the best to survive.

The same can be said abt any SF in the world.. the selections that they create are all but part of a process of eliminating the weak, and retaining the potential. It is a SPECIAL force after all.. and with a tag line that goes ‘A Special Breed of Men, A Cut Above the Rest’, how simple can an SF selections be.

Throughout my time in the army, I can honestly say that I’ve been true some nasty stuff that I never want to re-live again. Ever. Even in my dreams, I never want to ever encounter them.. these are experiences that have been thrown into the deepest recesses of my mind, never to be woken up for good. But yet, nothing that I’ve been through has prepared me for the past week.

We started 17-strong, and by the end of the 3rd day, we were down to a mere 9. As of today, we’re down to 6. And it’s only been just the 1st week. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this way if ever, and battered body and bruises aside, I pray that God will see me through the following week.

It all started with dreadful anticipation from the weeks that led up to day 1 of the selections.. there was this internal turmoil, on one hand knowing that I have not adequately prepared myself for this, but on the other hand, knowing that this is the only chance I’m gonna get at it. So definitely, a ridiculous amount of pressure started to mount as the phrase ‘Make it or Break it’ looms bigger and louder everyday.

But on the night of day 2, something special happened. My angel told me, that it’s no longer abt the selections anymore, but abt simple obedience. I no longer have to worry abt whether I make it through or not, because it doesn’t matter anymore.. the fact is, I’m going through it simply because He wants me to, and I’m simply just trusting and obeying. That turned everything around, and for the 1st time in weeks, I can honestly say that I’ve felt the burden been lifted off my shoulders.. I recognized more and more daily that it’s really not abt the selections anymore.. He has planned for me to be there for a reason and the fact is that I’m following and obeying what He wants me to do. So the outcome of the selections; whether I make it or fail it, really doesn’t bother me anymore.. cos I recognise that nothing can and will happen without first being filtered through Him. So I really have nothing to worry abt.

And with His grace, it has brought me thus far.. 50% of the way. The 2nd half is gonna get only crazier, and we all know it. There’s a whole load of crazy, ridiculous nonsense that will be done, but I’m not worried, cos I know that my heart is now in the right place.

I appreciate this rest and hope to recover as best as I can in anticipation for next week. I pray that I continue to do nothing short of what He has intended me to do/go through and at the end of the day, I recognise that all honour and glory goes to none other but Him.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

2 more days..

2 more days to the selections. It's one of those things that if I'm totally honest with myself, I don't see myself completing it and lasting thru to the end.

It's also another story how the manpower side totally messed up and got the date wrong. It's someone's career you're talking abt, and yet just because u are leaving, you and ur bunch of mech warriors mess up the entire battalion with ur nonsense planning of duty forecasts and getting critical dates wrong. Selfish with a capital ASS.

We'll see what comes out of these 2 weeks.

For a start, I'll try to get thru the initial couple of days first..

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Staying Alive

Hi everyone, Happy Belated Children's Day.

Yes, I'm still alive, not dead yet. I know it's getting quiet around here, just that work has started and suddenly, I find myself out of free time to blog as much as I want to. Plus the fact that it's a communal internet terminal to be shared with a whole LOAD of other guys.

The downside of work is starting to show it's ugly head, with all the 'juvenile' politics (like who does the duty officer for the weekend; life will NEVER be fair) etc.. but I'm trying to work on it and take it in my stride.

By the looks of it, I probably won't be out till late October. I wonder how things will look like outside after a month.. orchard rd changes so fast.

Anyway, till then.. later!