Friday, October 23, 2009

Natural Selection

Biologists or rather environmentalist and ecologists will tell you that the process of Natural Selection is crucial for the balance in life on this planet. Natural Selection speaks of how certain species will eventually triumph over other weaker species, thereby ensuring that only the best genes are maintained and selected for future generations to be spawned. And then the cycle continues, so it behaves like a never-ending fine-tuning process, meant to sift out the weak and allow nothing but the best to survive.

The same can be said abt any SF in the world.. the selections that they create are all but part of a process of eliminating the weak, and retaining the potential. It is a SPECIAL force after all.. and with a tag line that goes ‘A Special Breed of Men, A Cut Above the Rest’, how simple can an SF selections be.

Throughout my time in the army, I can honestly say that I’ve been true some nasty stuff that I never want to re-live again. Ever. Even in my dreams, I never want to ever encounter them.. these are experiences that have been thrown into the deepest recesses of my mind, never to be woken up for good. But yet, nothing that I’ve been through has prepared me for the past week.

We started 17-strong, and by the end of the 3rd day, we were down to a mere 9. As of today, we’re down to 6. And it’s only been just the 1st week. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this way if ever, and battered body and bruises aside, I pray that God will see me through the following week.

It all started with dreadful anticipation from the weeks that led up to day 1 of the selections.. there was this internal turmoil, on one hand knowing that I have not adequately prepared myself for this, but on the other hand, knowing that this is the only chance I’m gonna get at it. So definitely, a ridiculous amount of pressure started to mount as the phrase ‘Make it or Break it’ looms bigger and louder everyday.

But on the night of day 2, something special happened. My angel told me, that it’s no longer abt the selections anymore, but abt simple obedience. I no longer have to worry abt whether I make it through or not, because it doesn’t matter anymore.. the fact is, I’m going through it simply because He wants me to, and I’m simply just trusting and obeying. That turned everything around, and for the 1st time in weeks, I can honestly say that I’ve felt the burden been lifted off my shoulders.. I recognized more and more daily that it’s really not abt the selections anymore.. He has planned for me to be there for a reason and the fact is that I’m following and obeying what He wants me to do. So the outcome of the selections; whether I make it or fail it, really doesn’t bother me anymore.. cos I recognise that nothing can and will happen without first being filtered through Him. So I really have nothing to worry abt.

And with His grace, it has brought me thus far.. 50% of the way. The 2nd half is gonna get only crazier, and we all know it. There’s a whole load of crazy, ridiculous nonsense that will be done, but I’m not worried, cos I know that my heart is now in the right place.

I appreciate this rest and hope to recover as best as I can in anticipation for next week. I pray that I continue to do nothing short of what He has intended me to do/go through and at the end of the day, I recognise that all honour and glory goes to none other but Him.

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