A haunting reminder..

.. of the Anxiety, of the Fear, of the Pain, of the Failure.. and the fact that I have to do it all again.

FINALLY

So I finally got down to trying out the new Kubuntu 9.10 as mentioned here.. and I'm proud to say that this post comes from the penguin partition of my computer..

First thing that hits me is that the eye candies and everything still stays.. and of course, there's the big fix: Everything simply works out-of-the-box. The previous version of kubuntu (9.04) was merely a lame excuse. Everything from the wlan to file managers were broken. And the thing is, the fellas back there KNEW that it was broken.. they just decided to somehow release it anyway.

So with this new version, the eye candy that was there before still remains.. the awesomely straightforward interface still stays.. with the addition now that everything works by itself. Not so much of any tweaking needs to be done. Heck, I didn't even update any of the 34 'bug fixes' that they prompted me to.. the wlan connector works like a breeze, there's even a in-built firefox installer.. so you don't exactly need to open up the console and start unpacking the packages and 'apt-get' the stuffs..

Medias play fine now too.. perhaps it's the new update with VLC but if I'm not wrong, I'm using a slightly older version, cos I simply went to do a 'sudo apt-get install vlc'.. so I got a slightly older version; but still, it works.

Mounting of other partitions are a breeze too.. previously I recall having to go through the console just to mount my partitions, and so I ended up writing a script to automate the process.. but now, it's all straight forward. Just click on the partition in the file manager, and it auto-magically mounts the partition and shows u the content. As I'm typing this, I'm listening to music that's from my ntfs partition.. once you're done and wish to unmount it, again, just simply right-click and choose the 'unmount' function. Sweet.. =)

Perhaps the only downside to it is hotmail. Which technically goes back one big round and points the problem back to microsoft. You see.. apparently there's some nonsense stunt that micro$oft's trying to pull. They've added some codes such that when u're using firefox over a linux platform, hotmail will know abt it. And so they'll disable the 'Compose' function.

Sure, you'll get through to the Compose page.. you can fill in the address To and CC fields.. and the Subject too. But that's abt all you're gonna be able to do. The main body where ur text will be is greyed out. You can't seem to 'reach' it or 'enable' it.. so in short, you can't send any mails out.

So clever right? Sneaky bastards. They may claim that it's a firefox compatibility issue but really.. you own Hotmail, you create Internet Explorer and you started Windows.. and somehow, things don't work out when I don't use any of these 3 together.. isn't it obvious that u're trying to control the market?

So anyway after digging around the forums I managed to solve it with this nifty little firefox add-on known as User Agent Switcher. I'm not all too sure what it does and I honestly can't be bothered to find out.. I just know that it works probably by mimicking some background codes. So hotmail somehow 'thinks' it's on a windows platform, and allows everything to proceed as normal.

Well, other than this issue with the hotmail thing, which really isn't a linux problem.. this is by far the best distro I've used ever.. well done to the chaps behind Kubuntu.. *thumbs up*

Looks like my XP partition will be collecting dust for a looong while now.. =)

That's how the desktop looks..


and that's the typical multiple desktop eye-candy.. =)

Missing Out

No, I’m not dead. Just busy. The past 3 weeks have been a back-to-back pileup of things that happened so fast, now that I look back, I can’t quite remember how it all started and what exactly happened.. it all feels so distant.. yet somehow still very vivid. The sights, the sounds, the pain, the raw emotions.

I’ve missed quite abit these past 3 weeks that I was away.. for one, I know I missed my furballs’ birthday.. so here’s a big Happy Birthday to the 2 of them. I promise I’ll try to find a giant sunflower seed for you both. Heh.

I’ve also missed out what’s been going on around the world.. I suddenly realized that I’ve not been reading the papers the past weeks and so I’m quite out-of-touch with the world. It isn’t exactly a bad thing per se.. just that it’s nice to be in the loop of what’s going on once in a while.

I have also yet to try out the new kubuntu.. maybe I will once I’m done with this post. Then I’ll def do an update here abt it, if it’s as good as they say it is.. and talking abt my blog.. I miss going around with my camera taking pictures and uploading them here.. kinda sucky when ur job doesn’t exactly allow u to bring a camera with you everywhere u go for those just-in-case situations where a Kodak-moment pops up..

So anyway, enough moaning and complaining.. blisters, heat-rash and aching shoulders aside.. the past week has been alright. Things could have turned out far worst.. but I’m thankful I manage to get thru it.. thank God.

Birthday’s coming and so is Christmas.. as usual, my fav season of the year.. so it probably isn’t gonna be that bad for the next month or so.. can’t wait for it. =) *cues carols to start playing*

Penguin Update

It’s finally here! The one that I can honestly say I’ve been waiting for.. a quick update on the penguin partition on my computer as of now will show that I’m happy with the fancy layout and eye-candy that kubuntu 9.04 comes with.. but somehow, at the expense of everything else, it just looks good.

Everything was broken, from the wifi connector to the desktop widgets and even the file manager/explorer was nonsense.. a poor excuse for an OS. So I was honestly waiting for 9.10 where hopefully things will get better.

And in the midst of the whole brouhaha nonsense of this past (worst) week (of my life), I suddenly realize tonight that 9.10 is out..! So as I type, 9.10 is slowly being downloaded and conceived in my harddisk.. shall update soon abt it.

Yes, the tech geek (omg!) in me is all excited. Hah.

Obedience School

It’s a long story that I’ve played and re-played over and over in my head many times.. till the point that I’m actually tired of talking abt it. The final lesson on obedience and submission was the hardest to learn.

I dropped out from selections with just 2 days to the end. It’s so close I can almost feel it.. but yet, since the start of the week, I had an inclination that things will end early. I just never expected it to end this way.

Doctor says it might be a partial ligament tear, but he can’t confirm it. So I’m praying against it now.. it’s been one heck of a ride and yes, I’ll still give You the glory and I still choose to praise You no matter how difficult this is for me. I trust that You have a greater plan for me, one that I can never fathom, and that You’ll see it to pass.

Thank You for sending me to obedience school.. I pray I made You proud.

Natural Selection

Biologists or rather environmentalist and ecologists will tell you that the process of Natural Selection is crucial for the balance in life on this planet. Natural Selection speaks of how certain species will eventually triumph over other weaker species, thereby ensuring that only the best genes are maintained and selected for future generations to be spawned. And then the cycle continues, so it behaves like a never-ending fine-tuning process, meant to sift out the weak and allow nothing but the best to survive.

The same can be said abt any SF in the world.. the selections that they create are all but part of a process of eliminating the weak, and retaining the potential. It is a SPECIAL force after all.. and with a tag line that goes ‘A Special Breed of Men, A Cut Above the Rest’, how simple can an SF selections be.

Throughout my time in the army, I can honestly say that I’ve been true some nasty stuff that I never want to re-live again. Ever. Even in my dreams, I never want to ever encounter them.. these are experiences that have been thrown into the deepest recesses of my mind, never to be woken up for good. But yet, nothing that I’ve been through has prepared me for the past week.

We started 17-strong, and by the end of the 3rd day, we were down to a mere 9. As of today, we’re down to 6. And it’s only been just the 1st week. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this way if ever, and battered body and bruises aside, I pray that God will see me through the following week.

It all started with dreadful anticipation from the weeks that led up to day 1 of the selections.. there was this internal turmoil, on one hand knowing that I have not adequately prepared myself for this, but on the other hand, knowing that this is the only chance I’m gonna get at it. So definitely, a ridiculous amount of pressure started to mount as the phrase ‘Make it or Break it’ looms bigger and louder everyday.

But on the night of day 2, something special happened. My angel told me, that it’s no longer abt the selections anymore, but abt simple obedience. I no longer have to worry abt whether I make it through or not, because it doesn’t matter anymore.. the fact is, I’m going through it simply because He wants me to, and I’m simply just trusting and obeying. That turned everything around, and for the 1st time in weeks, I can honestly say that I’ve felt the burden been lifted off my shoulders.. I recognized more and more daily that it’s really not abt the selections anymore.. He has planned for me to be there for a reason and the fact is that I’m following and obeying what He wants me to do. So the outcome of the selections; whether I make it or fail it, really doesn’t bother me anymore.. cos I recognise that nothing can and will happen without first being filtered through Him. So I really have nothing to worry abt.

And with His grace, it has brought me thus far.. 50% of the way. The 2nd half is gonna get only crazier, and we all know it. There’s a whole load of crazy, ridiculous nonsense that will be done, but I’m not worried, cos I know that my heart is now in the right place.

I appreciate this rest and hope to recover as best as I can in anticipation for next week. I pray that I continue to do nothing short of what He has intended me to do/go through and at the end of the day, I recognise that all honour and glory goes to none other but Him.

2 more days..

2 more days to the selections. It's one of those things that if I'm totally honest with myself, I don't see myself completing it and lasting thru to the end.

It's also another story how the manpower side totally messed up and got the date wrong. It's someone's career you're talking abt, and yet just because u are leaving, you and ur bunch of mech warriors mess up the entire battalion with ur nonsense planning of duty forecasts and getting critical dates wrong. Selfish with a capital ASS.

We'll see what comes out of these 2 weeks.

For a start, I'll try to get thru the initial couple of days first..