Redolence

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

-Romans 12:15

Attended a wake on Friday evening.. This evening, as I read his blog, I somehow miss my own grandpa.

Without knowing it, it’s been 10 years since he’s passed.. and I can only regret that I couldn’t be there beside him at the final few moments. I still remember I was at home when I got the news and the next few days going to school was hell. I miss him dearly, and perhaps the only source of comfort would come from the fact that I’ll be seeing him again soon.

Amongst the various regrets, perhaps I’d wish I had gotten to know him better. To know him not as a gum-ball machine where I’d shake and poke to get candies and nice treats from, but to know how things were like for him.. to converse and hear him tell me how it was like to come down all the way to singapore. To hear abt how life was like from the province he’s from. To actually CHAT with him..

As the youngest grandson of my generation, I guess I pretty much had it all.. it was only during dinner with Shirley 6 months ago that I realized there are actually loads of things that I didn’t get to know abt.

So perhaps, it’s a good thing for me to be living in my own bubble.. that way, memories remain sweeter, albeit at the expense of the above-mentioned.. I guess I just miss him dearly..

Which also makes my heart ache too, knowing that I haven’t seen granny in quite a bit.. and that I don’t see her as often and prob not as close as we were last time.. I miss the old times, where they were just a 5 min walk away. Now as much as I want to, I feel that there’s this geographic/physical/mental barrier in the way..

Then again, perhaps I’m just making up lame excuses for my own inadequacy.

I miss you..