Blood-Shot

That’s the condition of my eyes right now. The past week has been hell, I’ve probably had only a total of 15 hours of sleep since Monday.

It’s become a routine, the intensity would get louder and louder and then in one climatic resounding snort, it will all end. Quietness will prelude for 5 seconds, before the whole cycle repeats itself again.. all throughout the endless night.

It has come to the point that I can even notice subtle things.. like every hour, there would be a 10-minute window of blissful silence.. where if I’m fortunate enough, I’ll get about 20 minutes of sleep, before being woken up again only to endure till the next window. And also other things, like the sky starts getting visually bright at about 0715 and that the birds outside will start chirping at about 0632 every morning.

My emotions have gone from anger to frustration to helplessness. It’s only week 3 and I have ten more weeks before the semester ends.. how I’m gonna put up with this, I have no idea, and I can’t even begin to imagine how the exam-period would be like. I’m paying 5 bucks a day for my hostel, supposedly so I can get more rest and more time to myself rather than traveling, alas, the contrary would be so; I’d most definitely get a lot more sleep and a lot less annoyance at home.

I believe that in the past nights, I’ve had more swear-words in my head than all of my army-life combined.. not to mention murderous and violent impulses that I’ve to grit my teeth to fight with. And to top if off, what with the lack of sleep and irritation, I’m now starting to sniff and CNY’s just round the corner.. GREAT.

ya.. I know I asked for patience, but right now, I feel like it’s more than I can bear.